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i've never been here before.  my heart beats out of control, this isn't happening.   what's happening isn't happening is it?  what is happening anyway?  what the hell is going on?

if i were looking back on these words, i'd swear i was 17.  mom never told me this could happen at 45.  maybe she doesn't remember, maybe it never happened to her.  maybe, i'm just stone cold crazy.....maybe the Twilight Zone was more than just a T.V show....hey, this could be the moment where This is Your Life meets This is the Twilight Zone.  more likely this is the moment i totally lost "it", whatever "it" is supposed to be.

maybe i'm just bored.  maybe i'm just a lunatic.  maybe i just want to fill up space any which way and this is my way right now.  maybe it doesn't matter, maybe no one gives a shit.  maybe i just think too much, and shouldn't give a shit either.  maybe i should just go to bed. 

maybe i'm you.  maybe, you should listen to me.  maybe...............